The Utah Coalition Against Pornography holds an annual conference where they invite experts to speak about how to combat the dangers of pornography. This year’s focus was on forming Connections. I was able to attend the conference online and I learned a lot from the speaker’s insights. Here are some highlights from the speakers presentations.
Chad Olsen: Finding Strength and Truth in Recovery
Chad Olsen spoke of how we can use the Armor of God, spoken of in Ephesians chapter 6, to protect ourselves from pornography. The Belt of truth he likened to having a healthy understanding of sexuality. Pornography attempts to sell the lie that the physical aspects of sexuality can be isolated from the emotional and the spiritual components. Pornography perpetuates the myth that you need to suspend reality.
The Breastplate of Righteousness, he compared, to protecting our emotional state. Often people view pornography because the are bored or lonely. He explained that it is healthy to allow ourselves to sit with boredom. Being bored can increase creativity. Many people also seek out pornography because they are feeling lonely and are trying to relieve those feelings. However pornography has the opposite effect, it increases feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Feet Shod with the Preparation of the Gospel of Peace was compared to protective factors we can implement. He spoke of protective parenting, explaining that when children are young, parents engage in Cocooning. Cocooning is shielding children from the dangers of everyday life. But children can’t remain cocooned forever. The next step in parenting is Pre-arming. Pre-arming is talking and planing with children what to do when dangers come and how they can combat them. It also includes plans to avoid dangers in the first place. Lastly parents should engage in Deference. Deference means taking a step back to give their children more autonomy. Adolescents need to be able to make their own decisions and mistakes. Parents can be there to help when children need help.
The Shield of Faith. Faith is a belief in something that hasn’t happened yet. We can envision a better future. And we can practice Consequence Tracing. Just as you can plot a course to take on a map, in consequence tracing we imagine where we want to be in life, then we think about what path we must take to get there.
Helmet of Salvation. Our behaviors start with our thoughts. Dopamine plays a role in balancing pleasure and pain in our brains and is a major neurological component of addiction. Seeking unnatural pleasure highs trains our brains to only experience pleasure from extreme stimulation—thus everyday life becomes dull and joyless. However our brains are malleable and we are able to reset our neural chemistry. He explained that it usually takes four weeks (thirty days) of not being exposed to unnatural dopamine highs to reset them back to normal happy life.
The Sword of Truth was likened to why we fight against pornography. He explained that the pornography industry is a multimillion dollar business. Fighting it, therefore, is a battle. We must remember what we are fighting for; we want healthy relationships, healthy minds, and a connection to others as well as to the divine. No one is alone in this battle, we stand together.
Brittany Homer: The Power of Connection
Brittany Homer spoke on nurturing good relationships. She said that Apologies and Warm Greetings are the foundation of good relationships. She used the analogy of watering everything in the garden, weeds and flowers. When watered, the weeds grow up quickly and strangle the flowers. She likened the weeds to criticism, saying that if you focus too much on the bad it does’t leave enough room for the good. We need to be nurturing the positive. She acknowledged that life gets busy with work and school and other things—but when we put people first, everything else falls into place. She also invited us to look for signs that something is off with the people around us. She explained that pornography thrives in people feeling isolated.
Jesse Stone: “I Am Because We Are”
Jesse Stone shared some of his experiences working through his addictions in group therapy. He explained that there is great strength in support groups, we become stronger together. And he emphasized the value of allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with those we trust. Everyone has things that causes us a little shame, we are not as alone as we often think, we don’t need to hide. There are people and programs to help and support us. We are only as sick as our secrets.
Brian Rhodes: Connection to Self—Am I in Alignment with My Values
Brian Rhodes taught that Connection is the opposite of addiction, not Sobriety or Abstinence. He spoke about Boundaries, explaining that there are three rules of boundaries. First, boundaries are an invitation for connection. We should think of boundaries not as a wall, but a door. Second, boundaries are all about yourself. You have control over yourself, you cannot control others. You choose what you are ok with, and what you are not. And Third, if there are no consequences for breaking a boundary, then it’s not a boundary. Lastly he said, “You will not do boundaries in your life any better than you think you are worth protecting with a boundary.”. Low self worth means low (weak) boundaries.
Jared Rees: The Tremendous Power of Connection in Aiding to Recovery
Jared Rees began his presentation by explaining that addiction is about escape. And when attempts to escape become habitual they become an addiction. He further explained that mental health is the commitment to reality no matter the cost.
Jared then taught about connection, saying that there are three types: First is the connection with our Self. We connect with ourselves by accepting and processing our emotions, and by practicing being mindful—being present in the moment. The second connection is with Others. The true foundation of any relationship is emotional connection. The emotions can be positive or negative, so long as they are being well received by the other person. Emotional connections create opportunities for us and our relationships to grow. To strengthen our relationships we can introduce more emotional connections. Without the connection, even positive emotions don’t build the relationship. The Third connection is with the community. The four types of communities are; shared places, shared interests, shared actions, and shared practices. We build connections with our community by attending local events, volunteering for causes we care about, getting to know our neighbors, and by joining clubs and groups based on shared interests.
Hank Smith: Restrictions and Relationships
Hank Smith focused his remarks on building high-trust relationships and wise parenting. He explained that high-trust relationships are built by tiny interactions. These interactions must meet four key criteria. They must be Frequent, Personal, Positive, and Low-risk. Frequent means that they have to happen often, ideally every day. Personal means that they are two sided, with each person interacting with the other. These interactions must be positive (just as Brittany Homer taught). He noted that low-risk is often where parents struggle to build trust with their children. He used an example of discussing grades as being high-risk. It can help to have traditions to insure that these interactions are happening regularly. Signs that we have a low-trust relationships include; things heating up quickly, become emotional quickly, or there is avoidance.
He explained that wise parenting is Warm, Respectful, and Demanding. Or in other words; Love, Latitude and Limits. Children of Warm parents feel that they can count on their parents to help them our if they have a problem. That their parents spend time just talking to them. And that their parents do things with them that are fun. Children of Respectful parents feel that their parents believe they have a right to their own point of view. Their parents respect their privacy. And that their parents give them a lot of freedom (I would add appropriate freedom). Children of Demanding parents know their parents expect them to follow the rules. Their parents point out ways for them to improve. And their parents expect them to do their best even when it’s hard.
He highlighted the dangers of criticism. He quoted Charles Schwab, “There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors.”. Then Hank reworded it to say, “There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a child as criticisms from parents.”. He further explained that when people receive criticism their Limbic Brain activates. The Limbic system controls our Fight, Flight, Freeze stress response. When this part of our brains is activated we are no longer listening, instead we are focused on escaping danger. He offered this nugget of wisdom, “When people don’t feel safe they always turn to self protection.”.
He further expounded the difference between Formal Authority and Moral Authority. He explained that Formal Authority is obeyed because we have to. While Moral Authority is obeyed because we want to and we trust them. The best leaders are those we want to follow, not because we have to. Rules and restrictions without relationships usually lead to rebellion. He noted that we have a special word for people whom others follow only because of force or need—Tyrant.
My Invitation to You
The information in this article came from the UCAP November 2025 Conference. This was my second year attending the Conference and I’ve gotten so much out of it. I hope you will take the time to watch the speaker’s presentations. You can watch these and previous UCAP presentations at https://www.youtube.com/@UtahCoalitionAgainstPorn/videos. And visit the coalition’s website at https://utahcoalition.org/.